"I'm the type of person who…"

I don't tend to hang with people who seriously play golf. I'm not a person who plays golf. I'm a non-golfer. I'm the type of person who lurks in online non-golfing communities.

This is truly dangerous stuff; do not tread lightly. You inevitably become your identities. You are simultaneously writing your D&D character sheet and becoming that person. This is your story.

Sometimes anti-identities are more powerful than identities. You can wield your tribal/disgust instincts via statements like "I'm not the type of person who…"

There are two ways to become a golfer:

• naturalized: golf regularly then call yourself a "golfer"
• methodical: call yourself a "golfer" then golf regularly

You accumulate naturalized identities via daily life. You are not a "soccer-mom", but your kids want to play soccer, and you are a mom. Life is an unforgiving dungeon master.

Sometimes naturalized identities are degenerative. First you are somebody who "only smokes at parties", and then you are somebody who "buys a pack every once and a while", and then "in denial about being a smoker", and then a "pack-a-day smoker", and then "smokes out of throat hole" type-of-person.

I used to be a heavy smoker. To quit smoking, I became the type of person who doesn't smoke, who doesn't hang around habitual smokers, who doesn't poison his children with vice, who overcomes temptation, etc.

But method-actors reverse this process. They imagine a different person entirely and then become that person.

Nobody accidentally runs triathalons. Triatheletes don't become that type of person by mistake. First they decide that they are triathaletes, then they train themselves. But training sucks. Along the way, these people remind themselves that they're the type of person who crushes challenges, who seeks discomfort, who never gives up.

If you adopt method-acting, beware becoming a "writer who never writes". These folks call themselves "writers" without doing the work. That's not method-acting; it's cosplay without charm.

That's why I'm the type of person who…

• spends less than I earn
• speaks up when something isn't right
• publishes imperfect art
• gives good apologies
• creates mild mischief
• chooses authenticity over approval
• never complains
• doesn't worry about an uncontrollable world
• leaves places better than I found them
• reacts compassionately
• says "no"
• exercises daily without thinking about it
• listens to my body's signals
• assumes positive intent
• creates more than I consume
• doesn't eat crap
• solves problems
• takes small commitments seriously
• maintains things before they break
• doesn't smoke cigarettes
• makes careless mistakes
• doesn't mess with sleep
• is both dreamer and doer
• maintains trust
• stops gossip
• tries new things
• is 10 minutes early
• remembers people's names and uses them liberally
• protects my morning energy for my goals
• maintains optimism without naivity
• finishes what I start
• lives by my values no matter what
• makes people smile
• does the right thing
• distrusts hype
• doesn't boast
• does the hardest thing first
• cares about epistemics
• forgives liberally
• drops everything to help a friend
• really listens to people
• doesn't drink to excess
• wears clean and simple clothing
• cleans up my accidents
• gives back
• is impervious to drama
• doesn't avoid difficult emotions
• chooses long happy over short happy
• helps clean after parties
• celebrates others' wins
• sets boundaries and protects energy
• fixes things instead of replacing them
• checks in on friends
• asks for help
• remains forever curious
• returns shopping carts

I'm the type of person who does these things. I'm the type of person who does these things. I'm the type of person who does these things.