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Hire Me

Send me your nastiest headaches.

e.g. team dysfunction, crappy UI, legacy code, slow fundraising, weak sales, risky R&D moonshots, churn, logistics nightmares, impossible research, tedious processes, waning quality, toxic culture, pivots, late/overbudget projects, brand dilution, DB migrations, org restructuring, PR disasters, cashflow crises, bozo explosions, GTM failures

I charge $1,000 per day.

You pay $0 for weak results. I won't invoice unhappy clients.

Schedule a free consultation or send me an e-mail if you're interested in working together.

I'm also available for full-time (salaried) positions for exceptional organizations.


Estimates

6m $120k launch a small video game for Nintendo Switch
4m $80k make a visionOS app prototype
3m $60k double your daily active users
3m $60k design and deploy an iOS app
2m $40k launch a polished MVP from-scratch with zero bugs
6w $30k microservice/monolith conversion
6w $30k refactor buggy software
4w $20k rearchitect your DB schema and migrate/clean data
2w $10k launch a UX redesign
2w $10k general backend performance improvements
2w $10k write a viral essay on any topic
2w $10k ship your late project like a cowboy
1w $5k make your PG database super fast
1w $5k launch a full web-app CSS redesign
5d $5k brutal testing gauntlet and analysis
4d $4k lead a viral marketing campaign
3d $3k systems architecture analysis
3d $3k launch a landing page with simple waiting list signup
2d $2k improve website readability with CSS typography improvements
2d $2k basic technical writing
2d $2k launch a basic frontpage CSS redesign
1d $1k edit a podcast or shortform video
1d $1k branding design packet