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Hire Me

I charge $1,000 per day.

But I do not accept payments unless my clients are delighted.

Seriously, I won't take your money unless you say, "I'm super jazzed with these results, and there's nothing I would change."

Schedule a free consultation or send me an e-mail if you're interested in working together.

I'm also available for full-time (salaried) positions for exceptional organizations.


6m $120k launch a small video game for Nintendo Switch
4m $80k make a visionOS app prototype
3m $60k double your daily active users
3m $60k design and deploy an iOS app
2m $40k launch a polished MVP from-scratch with zero bugs
6w $30k microservice/monolith conversion
6w $30k refactor buggy software
4w $20k rearchitect your DB schema and migrate/clean data
2w $10k launch a UX redesign
2w $10k general backend performance improvements
2w $10k write a viral essay on any topic
2w $10k ship your late project like a cowboy
1w $5k make your PG database super fast
1w $5k launch a full web-app CSS redesign
5d $5k brutal testing gauntlet and analysis
4d $4k lead a viral marketing campaign
3d $3k systems architecture analysis
3d $3k launch a landing page with simple waiting list signup
2d $2k improve website readability with CSS typography improvements
2d $2k basic technical writing
2d $2k launch a basic frontpage CSS redesign
1d $1k edit a podcast or shortform video
1d $1k branding design packet

Startup Emergencies

engineering disasters, late projects, database problems, software performance issues, refactoring, legacy systems, crappy user interfaces, failing startups, dispute resolution, logistics, overcommunication, undercommunication, optimization

Creative Direction

UI/UX design, graphic design, branding, video & film editing, storytelling, song production, audio engineering, game design

Software Engineering

rapid prototyping, iOS development, web development, systems architecture, database architecture, high-performance computing