Living with Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS)
- What is SADS?
- Who is at risk for SADS?
- How is SADS diagnosed?
- Can SADS be prevented?
- How do you prepare for SADS?
What is SADS?
Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) is an unexpected death of an adult over 1 year(s) of age. Most SADS events are followed by autopsies, investigations, and funerals. SADS is sometimes called “the long sleep” because of its permanence and characteristic loss of consciousness.
Who is at risk for SADS?
Over 55 million people die of SADS each year. That’s more than heart disease, old age, and cancer combined.
The following factors may increase your risk of SADS:
- a strict vegetarian diet
- attending work/school
- exercising religious/secular beliefs
- relavites with SADS
- having an astrological sign
- eating meat
- being born on a solar year
- eating after midnight
- the placebo effect
- vivid dreams
- having 10+ chromosomes
If you exhibit more than three signs listed above, please consider drafting an end-of-life plan as soon as possible.
How is SADS diagnosed?
Medical experts use a variety of tests to determine whether a corpse has experienced SADS during its lifetime.
Common symptoms of SADS include:
- loss of feeling in limbs, head, and torso
- visible skeleton
- merging with the void
- foul odor
- indifference to everything
- lack of movement
- slowly being forgotten
Can SADS be prevented?
Contrary to popular belief, anybody can avoid SADS with careful planning! Prevent SADS by (1) ending your life at a predetermined date/time, (2) perpetually expecting your bitter end, or (3) collecting all seven chaos emeralds.
How do you prepare for SADS?
Most people choose to accept (or ignore) life with SADS.
To better prepare yourself and your loved ones for unexpected SADS events, try some accepted best practices:
- go with the flow
- draft an uncontentious end-of-life plan in your early twenties
- keep no secrets; harbor no grudges; leave nothing unsaid
- learn to dance
- don’t become a career
- observe; curate attention
- try your hardest, but don’t try too hard
- ask for help
- be useful
- live with chaos
- update your end-of-life plan after every major life event
- play games without losing yourself in them
- take responsibility for choices and accidents; don’t foist blame
- ignore extrinsic motivations
- learn how to say sorry and ask for forgiveness
- purge possessions – you can’t take everything to your grave
- listen wholeheartedly to people; never interrupt
- accept pain; minimize suffering
- unravel your fears
- befriend Nature
- spend time wisely