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Offensive Horticulture

When a mommy flower loves a daddy flower, pollinators exchange their love letters; flowers create seeds together, which grow into baby plants.

…or an ameteur botanist reproduces a genetic clone from some "floor finds" at Walmart.

…or an entire plant is poached from Peru and shipped to a collector in Italy.

…or a farmer purchases seeds whose DNA is edited to resist cycles of new pests and newer pesticides.

…or a corporation synthesizes sacred biomaterials for pharmaceutical profits.

…or a college student grows felonious fungi in a dormroom closet.

Fungi are not plants -- like, not even remotely close -- nor are lichen (which are plant/fungi chimeras!). But language/law words are older than science words; "plants" sometimes means "stationary creatures" and sometimes means "Kingdom Plantae". In this series, I'll be using the definitions interchangably because I'm not a good writer.

Anyway, plants are weird. Humans are weird too.

  1. Theft: Proplifting, Plant Piracy, and Dumpster Chocolates
  2. Poaching: Profitable Plant Propagation Prevents Poaching
  3. Infringement: Seizing the Means of Re-Production
  4. Colonialism: Coming 2024.09.25
  5. Possession: Coming 2024.10.02
  6. Trespassing: Coming 2024.10.09
  7. Activism: Further Reading

I am neither a lawyer nor biologist. My only qualifications here are a mild interest in plants and a burning passion for committing crimes obeying the law. Please email me at [email protected] if you have any suggestions on how to improve this essay or evade prison (asking for a friend).

Further Reading

Email me at [email protected] if you have any suggestions for how to make these lists better.

Tutorials & Inspiration

Cool Organizations
American Community Gardening Association promotes community gardening across the U.S
American Farmland Trust works to save America’s farmland and promote sound farming practices
Biodynamic Association promotes biodynamic farming practices
Bioneers champions innovative solutions to global environmental and bio-cultural challenges
Botanic Gardens Conservation International plant conservation and biodiversity
CAFF advocates for family farmers and sustainable agriculture
Center for Food Safety advocates for organic and sustainable agriculture, and opposes harmful food production technologies
Center for Plant Conservation conservation of endangered plants
Couchiching Conservancy protecting natural habitats and plant species
ETC Group works to address the socio-economic and ecological issues surrounding new technologies
Earth Island Institute supports environmental activism and conservation projects
Earthjustice environmental law organization fighting for the preservation of plants and natural resources
EcoFarm promotes sustainable agriculture and supports farmers
Food Not Bombs provides free vegan meals from rescued food
Forest Peoples Programme supports forest peoples’ rights to control their lands and resources
Friends of the Earth advocates for environmental and social justice
Gaia Foundation works to secure land, seed, and water rights for indigenous communities
Global Greengrants Fund provides grants to grassroots environmental initiatives
IATP promotes fair and sustainable food, farm, and trade systems
IIED promotes sustainable development and addresses environmental issues
IPPC aims to protect cultivated and wild plants by preventing the introduction and spread of pests
IUCN works to conserve nature and ensure the sustainable use of natural resources
Indigenous Environmental Network advocates for environmental and economic justice for Indigenous peoples
International Society of Ethnobiology supports the conservation of biological and cultural diversity
Land Institute develops and promotes perennial crops and polycultures for sustainable agriculture
MAPS psychedelic research and policy reform
National Young Farmers Coalition advocates for young farmers and sustainable agriculture
Navdanya seed saving and biopiracy resistance
Open Source Seed Initiative promotes open-source seed sharing
Organic Consumers Association advocates for organic agriculture and food safety
Permaculture Association supports the development of permaculture systems for sustainable living
Permaculture Research Institute supports permaculture education and research
Pesticide Action Network advocates for alternatives to pesticides and supports organic agriculture
Plant Amnesty advocacy against improper pruning and plant poaching
Plantlife International conserves wild plants and their habitats
Plants For A Future information resource for edible and useful plants
Pollinator Partnership promotes the health of pollinators through conservation, education, and research
Psychedelic Science Funders Collaborative funding for psychedelic research
Rainforest Alliance works to conserve biodiversity and ensure sustainable livelihoods by transforming land-use practices
Rainforest Foundation US supports indigenous peoples to protect their rainforest homes
Rodale Institute pioneers organic farming through research and outreach
Save Our Seeds campaigns against genetically modified seeds and promotes biodiversity
Savory Institute promotes holistic management to regenerate the world's grasslands
Seed Savers Exchange seed saving and heritage plant preservation
Slow Food USA promotes local food and traditional cooking
Slow Money invests in local food systems and sustainable agriculture
Soil Association promotes organic farming and sustainable food systems
Sustainable Harvest International partners with farming families to improve food security and restore the environment
The Berry Center focuses on issues of land use, farm policy, and local food systems
The Crop Trust ensures the conservation and availability of crop diversity for food security worldwide
The Land Conservancy works to conserve natural and agricultural lands for the benefit of current and future generations
The Land Institute researches and promotes sustainable agriculture practices
The Nature Conservancy works to protect ecologically important lands and waters for nature and people
The Organic Center conducts research on the benefits of organic food and farming
The Organic Seed Alliance advances the ethical development and stewardship of the genetic resources of agricultural seed
The Rare Breed Survival Trust works to secure the future of rare and native livestock breeds
The Rodale Institute advances regenerative organic agriculture through research and outreach
The Sierra Club works to promote conservation of the natural environment
The Wildlands Conservancy preserves wildlands in the American West
The Xerces Society protects wildlife through the conservation of invertebrates and their habitats
Union of Concerned Scientists uses science to address global problems and advocate for a healthier environment
United Plant Savers works to protect native medicinal plants of the United States and Canada
WWOOF connects volunteers with organic farmers to promote organic farming practices