Skip stand-ups and all-hands. Evade Easter brunches, birthdays, and graduations.
Decline invitations by default. When you’re essential to an event, its host will notify you.
If you must attend an unfun event, make it memorable! Play pranks and plan ruses!
Don’t ghost. Never leave others hanging. Decline invitations with ample notice.
You’re going to die. Spend your time unapologetically. Be polite but direct. Never succumb to obligation.
Events to Avoid
- recurring events that don’t demand your full attention
- meetings with 5 or more attendees
- expensive outings
- meetings without written objectives
- anything you’d only attend because of duty or obligation
- events where booze is the main attraction (nights of drinking are mostly forgotten – make memories!)
- standing meetings occuring more than once per quarter
- long events, far events, and emotionally-taxing events
- “It doesn’t seem like I’d be very helpful in that meeting. Do you have questions I can answer asynchronously?”
- “Sounds fun, but I don’t want to go anywhere tonight.”
- “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I won’t be there tomorrow. Are you free to play tennis next week?”
- “I’d like to do deep work done during that time slot.”
- “Thanks, but I have to focus on my work/studies/personal-projects this week.”
Alternatives to Obligations
- send fun crafts and letters and drawings and gifts
- seasonal block parties
- monthly/quarterly video/phone chats
- schedule something together you’d actually enjoy doing rather than “hanging out”
- let relationships dwindle – it’s okay to grow apart from people
- imbue your life with meaning by tackling volunteer work with friends
- work-from-home together