2024.09.13: the literal, honest-to-god, top of my todo list

a one man war of attrition

Apparently attrition warfare is not The War of Attrition.

Well, of course, the fundamental issue here is that I'm greedy. My list of hopes/dreams grows by some expansion coefficient that dwarfs my dwindling lifespan.

But apparently I'm more stubborn/stupid than greedy. I continue to seek that magic algorithm that will remove the difficulty from difficult goals.

The magic algorithm does indeed exist! It's called acquiring capital. Unfortunately, I have not yet acquired the talent/skillset to retain/attract money, but trust me -- it's on my list.

From roughly 1992-2022, I followed the Shiny Things strategy: (1) set impossible goals, (2) work toward those goals until I became bored/distracted, (3) sulk about how my meager progress/accomplishments, (4) repeat.

Circa 2022, I learned how to wage attrition warfare on my projects. Every spare minute is allocated to one or two "big things" at the top of my list. The attrition strategy feels slower than the Shiny Things strategy, but is undeniably more productive for me.

Attrition warfare is tiring (duh, that's the whole point). This is a sound strategy if you are Russia thwarting Napoleon's hunger for world domination. This is not a sound strategy if you are fighting against yourself and your own personal ambitions.

This is especially true when you've set your heart on something stupid. Exercising discipline is useful when you're pursuing something worthwhile -- otherwise it's just stubborn folly.

To be uncharacteristically explicit, I think publishing 90-minute-ish chunks of work would be good for me. I think that the overhead of "working in public" might offer gains in (1) the illusion of momentum and (2) not propelling myself at stupid goals.

And for you, dear reader, let this be a kind reminder to stop fighting yourself! Full-frontal flagellation is wasteful; a healthy discipline diet probably contains a carrot with every stick.