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Thank You vs. Sorry

When you say "sorry", you crown yourself the center-of-attention and you create negative vibes.

When you say "thank you", you shine a warm spotlight on others.

"I'm sorry I'm late -- there was traffic."

Don't apologize. You're embarassed or guilty or anxious, but probably not sorry.

Good apologies are excrutiating yet simple:

  1. State exactly what you believe you did wrong.
  2. Express all the specific emotional and physical damage you've caused.
  3. Explain the actionable steps you've already taken to prevent this situation from reocurring. Do not talk about your plans or hopes or dreams. Talk about the changes that you've already made. If you're not willing to change, then don't apologize.
  4. Propose how you'd like to repair the damage you've caused.

"Thank you for your patience -- there was traffic. I'm so glad I can always depend on you."

Everybody loves compliments.

It's easy to express gratitude:

  1. State exactly what you believe the other person did well.
  2. Express why the other person is meaningful to you.