# Year Day is December 11

The end of every calendar year marks a great opportunity for self-reflection.

For exactly zero dollars, you can wield
[the Fresh Start Effect](https://oitecareersblog.od.nih.gov/2024/01/22/the-fresh-start-effect)
against yourself to regress towards the mean!

[^note]:
    Here is
    [a popular podcast episode](https://freakonomics.com/podcast/are-you-ready-for-a-fresh-start-ep-455/)
    about it.

Some fancy folks even try to egress away from the mean.

[^note]:
    Personally, I don't recommend this strategy. It's easier to find a healthier
    "mean" in a new community/subculture and regress towards that. Go somewhere
    where average is plenty.

But it takes time to become somebody else, and humans don't experience Earth's
revolutions in years. Every mammal gets about 1 billion heartbeats; we spend
ours at 60hz.

And so we synthesize stories to steer our future selves.
[Resolutions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year%27s_resolution) and
[yearly themes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guEA) create structure
around delayed gratification.

[^note]:
    Whoa -- there's
    [a podcast episode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zugiZ73SyM) about
    yearly themes too.

But most folks fail to find/solve their problems. They ignore their worst
hurdles. They choose [DUMB goals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria).
They pursue dreams that friends/family can't/won't support.

Unsolicited feedback is rude. Silence is tragic. We need venues for positive
change.

Year Day is December 11.

[^note]:
    I often change my yearly themes in late Spring, so Year Day feels like my
    midterm exams. You needn't cram your life's chapters into school semesters
    or celestial movements.

It's your yearly nudge to solicit positive feedback. Find friends/family who
want to craft the best possible Future You; prod them for honesty.

- What can I be doing differently?
- How can I get to the "next level"?
- What's holding me back?
- Do you see any patterns that influence my mood?
- What should I spend less time on?
- If you were me, what would you change?
- Where should I focus next?
- What can everybody see that I can't? What's taped to my back?

You'll discover that listening is difficult. You ask simple questions; they
misremember the past, they air grievances, they stray from the point, they jab,
they ramble, etc.

But do not interrupt. Listen. Listen. Listen, and repeat exactly what you heard
them say. Repeat what you _heard_ them say, not what you _felt_ them say. Do not
spin their experience to make a point -- process that discomfort on your own
time.

Meanwhile, relax. Enjoy your holidays, your snow, your gifts, your music, your
tradition, your friends, etc. By January 1, you will finally be ready for your
Fresh Start. Cue the proverbial champagne.