[![](/santa-prefers-1.png)](https://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i6355.abstract) [![](/santa-prefers-3.png)](https://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i6355.abstract) [![](/santa-prefers-4.png)](https://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i6355.abstract) # Santa Prefers Wealthy Sick Children I recently found a lovely paper: [_Dispelling the nice or naughty myth_](https://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i6355.abstract). I recommend reading the entire paper, but here are its main findings: > It has long been thought that Santa Claus gives presents to nice but not > naughty children. This is the first study, to our knowledge, to dispel the > myth that Santa visits children based on behaviour and suggests socioeconomic > deprivation plays a greater role in determining a visit. It raises important > ethical dilemmas, such as whether children should be told and what should be > done about Santa. > > Santa Claus has an incredibly tough job to ensure that all the nice children > receive presents. Undoubtedly deeper socioeconomic factors are at play, even > impacting Santa Claus’s abilities to reach out to every child. Whether his > contract needs to be reviewed or local Santas employed in “hard to reach” > areas, all we want is for every child to be happy this Christmas. I noticed that the paper cited [a deleted reddit comment](https://web.archive.org/web/20221224032055/https://www.reddit.com/r/AskScienceFiction/comments/3xzgur/christmas_why_does_santa_give_rich_kids_more/), so I went and dug it up: > Santa is contractually forbidden from altering the socioeconomic status of any > individual. On a grand scale, the ability to alter the status of particular > groups would allow Santa too much influence over political decisions. This > would eventually be noticed and cause discontent which runs contrary to the > primary mission of the North Pole: the deliverance of Cheer™. As such he can > only provide presents that are appropriate for the environment the child is > in. Here are some highlights from [the paper's BMJ comment section](https://www.bmj.com/content/355/bmj.i6355/rapid-responses): > First, we find issue with the measurement of "naughty": as determined by the > average number of school days missed and aggregate criminal activity. Average > school days missed as a proxy is inappropriate as this metric does not > adequately capture the attitude of the children missing school. In a > population with a larger hospital system and more sick children, the days > missed are likely inflated due to illness rather than nautiness. Additionally, > the authors use average criminal activity for adolescents aged 10-17 as their > proxy for naughtiness. However, this age group is not reflective of the > population in paediatric hospital wards in its entirety. Transition from > paediatric to adult care typically occurs between 15 and 20 years of age or at > the end of formal schooling. ... > > Secondly, in a sample of American mall Santas (n=15), each reported their > first question to children was whether they had been naughty or nice this > year. Therefore, self-reporting should not be excluded from the study, as > these reputable Santas take children’s self reflection into primary > consideration. > The assertion that Santa Claus delivers gifts across the globe within a 24 > hour period is not entirely true. In the Netherlands, e.g., Santa > traditionally brings his presents on December 6th, in Russia (as "Father > Frost") on January 6th, and in Germany on December 24th (Christmas Eve). The > arrival of Santa in Germany on Christmas Eve is well documented since 1835 > (1). Given the short period from Christmas Eve to Christmas and given that > Santa has a two bases in North Germany (2), it is likely that he approaches > the UK from the East and not from the North. The authors should re-analyse the > flying distances under this aspect. > > Santa's reluctance to fly to the UK may date back to Christmas 1940 ff. when > flying obects coming from across the North Sea were hailed with an unfriendly > welcome. The surprising finding that Santa thereby skips socioeconomic weak > areas could have produced a feeling of being left behind in these regions. > These regions to some extent match the regions that voted for the brexit (3). > Hence, the authors should include the brexit voting data in the analysis. > Protectionism, however, could add to the unwillingness of Santa to reliably > come to the UK. The British government would therefore be wise to invite Santa > Claus to the brexit negotiations. > > Yours sincerly, Gunther Weitz > > Competing interests: I do drink Coca-Cola from time to time. > Children are never 'naughty' - they sometimes misbehave for perfectly good > reason, of course, and even for not very good reason, buy there is always a > reason of sorts, and medical professionals should be made to realise that. The > paper's short title does go a little way to dispelling the myth, but not > nearly far enough > I call for the emergency extraordinary meeting of the guarantors/directors of > the BMJ to review the serious lapse in the judgement of BMJ editors in their > decision to publish this libelous article and consider the necessary action > required to defend themselves from the legal representatives of Claus & Elfs > Limited (incorporated in Magnetic North)