![cthulu cake](/cthulu-cake.jpeg)

# How I Eat

- [Hell Is Other People's Diets](#1)
- [Dietary "Defaults"](#2)
- [Sourcing My Food](#3)
- [Using and Reusing](#4)
- [From the Ground to the Ground](#5)

## Hell Is Other People's Diets {1}

My friend eats meat. Only meat. As a child, he refused fruits, vegetables,
candy, bread, etc. Seriously, he showed me a childhood photo of his birthday
party -- no cake, just a steak with a candle in it. He now celebrates events
with more elaborate meat cakes (see his "cthulu cake" above). And yeah, he's
super healthy.

In contrast, I grew up near
[Loma Linda](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loma_Linda,_California), that
[Blue Zone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_zone) populated by vegetarians.
They're ridiculous -- drive through their neighborhoods and you'll spot four
generations of the same family hiking together. People in that town refuse to
die.

And so I've come to know equal proportions of healthy herbivores, carnivores,
and omnivores. They're all confident that _their_ diet is the paragon of
nutrition.

Keto, pescatarian, carnivore, vegan, gluten-free, garbage disposal, atkins -- it
all seems the same from afar. Sure, you can guess when friends trend towards
more calories. But you cannot precisely predict somebody's diet based on
appearance or personality or demeanor. Even with modern nutrition research, one
must cautiously ferret out first-hand correlations between diet and health.

I'm no dietitian, but I've been eating for quite a while. So here are my
totally-scientific heuristics based on anecdotal evidence:

- fast food is probably not good
- industrial agriculture is probably not good
- oily/greasy/deep-fried stuff is probably not good
- overeating is probably not good
- factory farming is probably not good
- vitamin/mineral deficiencies are probably not good
- overly restrictive diets are probably not good
- processed foods are probably not good
- added sugars are probably not good

## Dietary "Defaults" {2}

Mystery meats give me anxiety. Some unhealthy foods are easy to avoid.

But it is cruel comedy that the gods generally make bad food taste so good. I
could fill my coffin with Panda Express and Del Taco.

To avoid early graves, some self-impose dietary restrictions.

I decided on _default_ foods. Whenever I cook for myself, I choose from my "lazy
paleo" menu: veggies, fruits, eggs, nuts, beef, fish, poultry.

People only call their diets "diets" when they hate what they eat. My default
foods effortlessly fit into my life:

- I hate counting calories more than I love fancy recipes. My defaults allow me
  to forage in my fridge without forethought.
- I prefer speed over variety. It takes me ~10 minutes to prepare a whole day's
  worth of food.
- To me, fresh foods and minimal meals are amazing. My defaults allow me to
  savor simplicity.

In other words, I chose these defaults because they're the (1) healthiest foods
with (2) minimal effort that (3) match my palate. As long as there are no
[temptations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instant_noodles) in my pantry, I get
plenty of sustainable nutrients on autopilot.

## Sourcing My Food {3}

I've only recently started thinking about the broader impact of my diet.

I guess that's not true -- I knew that my diet was making a negative impact on
the world around me, but I didn't know (1) how bad things were out there and (2)
how easy it is to eat sustainably.

And so I tweaked my grocery habits recently. With no loss of convenience, I get
_better_-tasting food at comparable prices. It's probably more nutritious too.

Here's what works for me in Southern California:

- **Take tours.** Small farms love guests. Learn how your food works! See for
  yourself how the sausage is made. Do they torture your turkey? Do they douse
  your carrots in chemicals?
- **Find farmers' markets.** Rather than scurrying to the grocery store when I
  run out of food, I've started going to a local farmers' market on a regular
  cadence. Shopping with my family has actually become the highlight of my week!
- **Support community agriculture and fisheries.** After exploring local markets
  and farms, build relationships. I've got my meat guy on speed-dial. My produce
  people do weekly drop-offs. I'm meeting a seafood guy next week. Food
  shouldn't be an anonymous process.
- **Try growing some of your own food.** Don't overthink it. Throw some dirt in
  a cardboard box and put seeds in.
- **Nature isn't always photogenic.** Eating locally means that you won't get
  picture-perfect produce. You'll learn to ignore defects faster than you'd
  think.

## Using and Reusing {4}

Waste is literally an uphill battle for me.

Our garbage service travels along the main road of our neighborhood, which is
0.25 miles up a steep hill from our bear-proof garage. After years of
optimizations, it takes me 20 minutes to take out my trash cans on Tuesdays.

I first eliminated yard waste, because nature is heavy. Leaves go into compost
piles. Branches go into woodchip piles. Weeds get tossed on top of dirt patches
(to make soil).

Next, kitchen waste. Food scraps can be composted, but why do we have so many
"food scraps"? Strawberry leaves are edible. Bones and viscera can make broth,
and leftover broth fats are an excellent ingredient. Heck, even orange peels and
watermelon rinds can be cooked. Don't toss edible energy.

If you've got too much perishable food to eat or freeze, preserve via
dehydration, canning, pickling, etc. You can transform practically anything into
jerky.

With little effort, you'll end up with
[bonus seeds](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seed_saving) and
[brown gold](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compost). And now you suddenly have a
use for "recyclable" materials. Transform plastic containers into makeshift pots.
Even cardboard boxes can become garden beds with some plastic lining.

Within weeks, your trash is food again. And that's when you realize you've
become a backyard alchemist and certified nutjob.

## From the Ground to the Ground {5}

Frankly, I don't really care about The Economy™ or The Environment™. I can
barely care for myself. I hate exercise and nutrition, but recently
re-remembered I'm getting older and afraid to die.

But seeing that entire journey from seed to meal to soil again is giving me some
peace. Seeing so many familiar hands and faces involved in my food makes my
meals worth more gratitude.

I think it's changing me. Earth suddenly seems like something worth protecting.
Panda Express is losing its flavor. Is carrot jerky a thing? How much do
chickens cost?