# Don't Feel Your Feelings

> Don't dream your dreams. Don't feel your feelings.
>
> — My mom

My family gets frazzled. I'm sure other people get frazzled too, but my family seems to specifically use the word _frazzled_.

I talk to my mom about everything: careers and love-interests and social-awkwardness and pigeons and everything else. And when I'm deflated or afraid or _frazzled_ she often says, "Don't dream your dreams. Don't feel your feelings."

Because, yeah, my dreams and feelings are often worthless. What if I don't become a rockstar? Don't dream — play music for fun. What if The Girl doesn't like me back? Don't dream — she has her own wants and needs. Why am I so out of shape? Don't feel — exercise. What if I don't make money? Don't feel — be clever.

And this is not some [r/wowthanksimcured](https://www.reddit.com/r/wowthanksimcured/) mumbo-jumbo. Life is hard and emotions are messy and not entirely voluntary and usually legitimate.

But every once-and-a-while, my mom reminds me that I don't have to identify with my _all_ of my feelings. I don't have to materialize _all_ of my fantasies _right now_. I don't need to be frazzled.

Sometimes, when I'm tired of holding on to things, she reminds me that it's okay to let go.