# How to Coast with Corporate Camouflage

In this era of abundance, multinationals have become a dominant species on our
pale blue dot. As inequality grows, workplace parasitism becomes a winning
strategy for large swaths of the population.

The masses are quietly discovering that output is not rewarded proportionally to
effort. The
[Solow paradox](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Productivity_paradox#:~:text=The%20productivity%20paradox%2C%20also%20referred,productivity%20growth%20in%20the%20United)
shows that productivity in developed countries is not tracking IT growth.

In response, people are learning to extract wages from employers while expending
minimal time and energy.

> **corporate camouflage**
>
> _noun._ the art of becoming invisible in a large organization
>
> "Have you seen Brian? Seems like he's been engaging in some corporate
> camouflage recently."
>
> "I employed corporate camouflage to work less than 15 hours this month!"

B\*llshit jobs are appealing, but generally dead-ends. Corporate immune systems
hunt for BS jobs during crunch periods and economic downturns.

"Looking busy" is inadequate.
[Induced demand](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Induced_demand) causes busy
people to attract more work.

To engage in long-term corporate camouflage, be (1) essential, (2) "busy", and
(3) predictable.

## 1. Survive Layoffs

[![Representation of Roles in Layoffs](/layoffs-1.png)](https://www.reveliolabs.com/news/macro/who-gets-laid-off)

[![Average Salary By Role](/layoffs-2.png)](https://www.reveliolabs.com/news/macro/who-gets-laid-off)

[![Layoffs By Industry](/tech-layoffs.png)](https://layoffs.fyi)

To avoid career interruptions, choose roles and industries that are protected
from layoffs.

Within your organization, hitch yourself to projects that "keep the lights on".
Pair with people who touch primary revenue streams.

Once you've accrued some career captial, keep your
[bus factor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_factor) as low as possible
without drawing attention. Quietly obstruct the interview process for competing
roles wherever possible.

## 2. Skirt Work

![Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn't say I've been "missing" it, Bob.](/1414906244-170989-Office_space_movie_quotes.jpg)

Grunt work is foisted upon generalists. Establish yourself as an inflexible
expert. Choose a narrow domain and claim ignorance whenever possible. Peers will
eventually avoid asking you for help.

Create an ambient paper trail of activity. Occasionally produce reports on
numbers that nobody cares about. Send your reports to a limited number of people
so you can mention that you're "working on something for Alice and Bob" if
needed.

Assign yourself easy work. Manufacture problems and improvements that you know
how to solve. Make tools to solve recurring problems without incurring too much
[automation debt](https://xkcd.com/1205/). Under no circumstances should you
ever share your automations.

Strategically employ
[loss aversion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion). Resist assignments
from your superiors by stating tradeoffs: "Sure, I can help with Y, but that
means X will be delayed by 3 days. Does that sound okay?"

Icarus famously flew too near the sun above, but was also warned against flying
too close to the sea below. Performing 4-5 hours of "real work" per week can
maintain a sense of purpose and stave off imposter syndrome.

## 3. Avoid Detection

[![I've been sitting in an office behind the fired lady's office all alone for months. Doing literally nothing. I've asked around, I've emailed people. NOTHING. I show up 3 days a week, "work" from home 2 days a week; and get paid every Friday.](/f6f6b7d0-c7dc-11ed-b91d-3fb56ef43573_1200_630.jpeg)

- Maintain copious work logs; note your positive contributions. Ace your
  performance reviews with solid documentation. Management avoids firing people
  with paper trails.
- Never volunteer.
- When cornered, agree with everybody: "Wow, both sound like solid options to
  me".
- Don't flaunt your minimal workload. Avoid taking visible breaks.
- Never contribute ideas (unless they'll make your life significantly easier).
- Don't be creepy. Never incur the ire of HR.
- Avoid asking for raises; live frugally instead.
- Attend required meetings;
  [skip optional meetings](/stupid-meetings-stupid-shit). Never be late to
  anything.
- Never drink alcohol with coworkers. Stay at your company for a long time, not
  a good time.